Millennium Magazine

“Burning a candle at both ends.” This is an expression I heard years ago when a rock star was talking about his life. The “burning” he pointed to was caused by an excess of a sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle. But burning out is something all too prevalent in sports, entertainment, business, and life.

what is a burnout?

New York psychologist Herbert J. Freudenberger, PhD., coined the term, referring to a state of fatigue or frustration caused by devotion to a cause, a lifestyle or an undertaking that did not reap the expected results.

What is key is not what defines a burnout, but rather who is more prone to burning out, what its causes are, how one can recognize it instead of denying it, and finally, how one can put out the fire and get his life back on track.

are you prone?

The same way we have Type A and Type B personalities, I believe that people can also be characterized as “pyros” and “aquas.” Aqua people (no real relationship to water signs in astrology) tend to be very laid-back, are content with the basics of life, and do not seek to push the envelope. Life can pass them by and they will not care, so long as their life is happy and joyous. The definition of happiness is subjective.

Pyros, on the other hand, are driven beyond the speed of light. They are not necessarily unhappy with their surroundings. Au contraire — it is because they seek a perpetually increasing level of happiness that they push the envelope. While they call time-out often (and some would suggest that their life is an endless recess), many see them as burning the proverbial candle at both ends.

These two categories are by no means scientific, they are meant to provide a framework or checklist for young professionals going forward in their careers, and lives. It is not a coincidence that many rock stars have burned out because of their reliance and abuse of drugs. While many so-called experts would like to extend this argument by saying that one category of young professionals is more prone to rely on drugs than another, for example, that is, in my humble opinion, false. I believe that both categories are just as likely to do drugs, but while one might do so for pure pleasure, the other may look to drug use for both pleasure and escapism.

rub two stones together

When it comes to why people burn out, the reasons are as endless and varied as the stars in the sky. After all, some people burn out because they work too long and too hard. All work and no play spells burnout, and no amount of “special Rolaids” will help the case. If anything, not understanding the real causes of burning out and instead relying on substances will only exasperate the problem, like it has done for many executives, entertainers and athletes that I will not name.

But what I will list are some of the reasons behind burnout:

Too much pressure and ambition, and insufficient resources or means to pull it off

Too little control, and not enough rewards

Poor senior management not recognizing true talent and efforts

Misguided criteria for determining promotion and compensation

General stress

Get a grip before you go up in smoke…

you better recognize

The bottom line is, it’s not a big deal if you live life at full throttle. After all, you only live once and since time flies, why not make the most of it? The key is to balance life: business with pleasure, 24/7. Otherwise, you will sit in your chair and wonder why you never have any fun, hate your job, and wish to stay in bed all day.

If you tend to suffer from tunnel vision, you may never realize that you have a problem. You will carry on and on and on until one day, you break down. The best thing to do is keep your ears open and your eyes focused on what others tell you. If your family is worried, that’s normal, they’re looking out for you because they love you; if your girlfriend is concerned, that’s also expected because she surely misses you; but if your friends are also sending you warning signs, maybe it’s because you are, in fact, headed down a path of distress. So pay attention when those who care for you give you a heads up — that way, you can blow out the flame before your social and emotional life goes up in smoke.

get your fix

Keep your lifestyle in check

The key to getting some control on the “fire” is to address your lifestyle. Do you ever work out? The gym is always good, although the “pyro” may consider being in an isolated gym a waste of time. If this is so, then gather some friends and fire away your competitiveness by playing a game of football, basketball, hockey, or soccer.

Eat healthy food

Another “easy” thing to do in order to keep your life burn-free is improve your diet. Sure, burgers and pizza are great, but a nice salad or bowl of fruit will help give you that energy when you’re burning the midnight oil, while junk food will only have the opposite effect.

Be aware of your threshold

Know your limits. That is the bottom line. If you can multitask, work at the speed of light and manage to get more on your plate, then keep doing what you have been doing — you will surely go places. But if you find that you can never finish what you start, drift off into space several times a day, and are becoming irritable and impatient in every aspect of your life, then call time-out — perhaps a temporary change of pace, self-analysis, and reality check are in order.

Years ago, I interviewed a young man for a position within my organization. I asked him what kind of income he expected to earn in his first year or two. He said, “$100,000 my first year, and at least a 50% increase in my second year.”

I countered by asking what the highest income he ever earned in a single year was. His reply: “$20,000.” I then asked him if he thought he was worth $100,000 a year. He hesitantly responded, “I don’t know, I think so.”

My last question, and the most important one was, “What do you plan to change about yourself to go from $20,000 a year, to $100,000 a year?”

His answer, “I don’t know.”

what are you worth?

You see, if a person considers himself a $20,000 a year person, he will never be worth $100,000 a year unless he makes some sort of change. There is always something that we can change. Any change we make will produce a different outcome in our lives.

Our income will rarely exceed our own personal beliefs or personal development. If it does, on some rare occasion, it will quickly return to where it was in a short period of time, that is, if we don’t make a change.

That’s why it is critical to have a plan for your own development, otherwise you’ll continue to produce the same results.

what’s so different?

In order to get something different in our lives, we must do something different. In order to do something different we must know what to do. And in order to know something different, we must at least suspect that our current methods need improvement, and we must be open to finding a better way.

We always do the best we can with what we know. On the other hand, some of us continue with our old ways knowing that there is a better way. Why? Because we’re comfortable with our old ways. After all, it’s what we know best. Changing would mean having to take a risk, to break out of our comfort zone.

The risk of breaking out of our comfort zone brings about our deepest fears. What if it doesn’t work? What if the opportunity I’m becoming involved in isn’t real? What if I can’t do it? What will others think of me being in this type of business?

It brings up the fear of failure. I’ve failed before, what if I do it again? It can even bring up the fear of success! If I’m successful, I may have to leave some of my friends behind.

where do you want to be?

In order to become and remain a success in any endeavor, there are two things that are required. First is knowing what’s got you “turned on” and second, is knowing what gets you “turned off.”

I refer to it as “vision” and “reality.” Knowing where you want to go and why is known as “vision,” and knowing what’s holding you back and why is “reality.” Your vision may be that you want to earn a million dollars, but the reality is that you don’t believe you can.

Having complete clarity is the place to start. Clarity is knowing where you’re going and being on target. The speed at which you accomplish your objective will always be based upon your own degree of clarity.

are we clear?

If you just can’t seem to get going, that means that you aren’t clear — something is holding you back. Your fear blocks your clarity, therefore, slowing you down, or in many cases, even immobilizing you.

Without being clear about what you want, it becomes impossible to take full advantage of any opportunity. The slightest element of doubt creates uncertainty, and uncertainty always creates lack of clarity. Lack of clarity produces tension, tension produces fear, and fear immobilizes.

Think of a time when you felt unclear, or when doubt was creeping in on you. Think of a time when you felt non-productive or stuck. That’s called being non-resourceful. Now think of a time when you really felt clear, when nothing could stop you. Everything seemed to work with ease; every answer was right there when you needed it. That’s being resourceful.

find the answers

The question should always remain, “Is what I’m thinking, feeling, or the action I’m taking moving me closer to, or further away from what I want in my life? Is it supportive or non-supportive? Is it resourceful or non-resourceful?” Every thought or feeling you have and every action you take either attracts the elements you need, or pushes them away.

It’s always a question of “honor.” Which do you “honor” the most; your vision of what you want to accomplish, or the “stuff” you find yourself wrapped up in? If you choose not to make the call because you are afraid of being rejected or afraid of what someone might think of you, it simply means you have chosen to “honor” your fear instead of your vision. Read more »